Friday, March 6, 2009

A Word from Nick

Now that the promotional material for our show has been released, I’ve had the following feedback expressed to me at least twice.

‘You don’t look nerdy enough.’

It’s difficult for me to respond to this claim as it’s something I’VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE IN MY LIFE, LIKE, EVER. (Where were these people when I was in high school? I’ll tell you where. Standing at the back of the crowd in the boy’s toilets yelling ‘Hit him again, Johnny!’ You may have forgotten, but I have a list).

However, it falls on me to defend my nerd credentials and our show’s honour. So here they are.

Collections of ‘Futurama’ and ‘The Simpsons’ on DVD: COMPLETE
Longest period of time spent without a date: 1994 – 2005 (INCLUSIVE)
Amount spent on comic books in fiscal year 2008/9: $650.00
Amount spent on DVDS in fiscal year 2008/9: $540.00
Amount spent on fashionable clothing in fiscal year 2008/9: $0
Amount spent on any kind of clothing in fiscal year 2008/9: $0
Time spent in second-hand bookstores per week (average): 3 ½ hours
Time spent in gym or attending live sporting events per year (aggregate): NIL
Opinion of filmmaker Kevin Smith: GENIUS
Opinion of AFL footballer [first name] [last name]: CAN”T EVEN COME UP WITH NAME IN ORDER TO COMPLETE SHITTY JOKE.

I could go on – or you could just come and see our show where you’ll hear me blathering about NASA space probes, Paul Thomas Anderson films, and the musical genius of Roy Orbison, amongst other nerdy concerns. In the meantime, if you’re going to attack the credibility of participants in our show, go after Lisa. She may look Goth, but I once saw her at a Guy Sebastian concert attempting to snort an entire set of My Little Pony dolls.

Regards,

Nick

4 comments:

Lisa said...

I WAS ONLY AT GUY SEBASTIAN'S CONCERT BECAUSE 'DE-VIRGINISE A GOLLIWOG DOLL' IS #92 ON MY '1000 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE' LIST.

And someone just happened to have some sweet, sweet lines of My Little Ponies. I'M NOT MADE OF FUCKING STONE, NICK.

Chris said...

The boxes, Nick ticks them.

Lisa, I'd hate to rumble your credentials, but you know I'm on to you."

Lisa said...

Damn you, Chris! You've blown my cover!

Paul said...

Look, you're all pretty geeky, but who among us can say they've had this thought in recent months: "If I just kill a few more trolls, I'll get to level 13 and I can get that sweet +4 bastard sword."...?

Me.